Well, here's how it's going down one way...
The Ransom Note:
M&J,
As you can see by the attached photograph, we have your beloved gnome. He has no idea where he is or where he's going. But I assure you, he is quite unfindable.
DO NOT involve the FBI. I know how they work and their meager efforts will not stop me. I will contact you periodically to inquire about your progress on acquiring the ransom we agree on. I will not use a telephone because they can track me. I will use high tech equipment to monitor this transaction; equipment M is sure to be familiar with. Yes, I know a lot about you. If you contact the media and try to market public support, I will know and not be pleased, no matter how good it looks on TV.
First instruction, do nothing. I will be in touch. Determine how much this gnome is worth to you and be ready to make an offer the next time I contact you.
If I see any signs of law enforcement involvement, I will return the gnome piece by piece, starting with his beard. Tread softly..
With warmest regards,
Z
M&J,
As you can see by the attached photograph, we have your beloved gnome. He has no idea where he is or where he's going. But I assure you, he is quite unfindable.
DO NOT involve the FBI. I know how they work and their meager efforts will not stop me. I will contact you periodically to inquire about your progress on acquiring the ransom we agree on. I will not use a telephone because they can track me. I will use high tech equipment to monitor this transaction; equipment M is sure to be familiar with. Yes, I know a lot about you. If you contact the media and try to market public support, I will know and not be pleased, no matter how good it looks on TV.
First instruction, do nothing. I will be in touch. Determine how much this gnome is worth to you and be ready to make an offer the next time I contact you.
If I see any signs of law enforcement involvement, I will return the gnome piece by piece, starting with his beard. Tread softly..
With warmest regards,
Z
So what do you think will be an acceptable ransom? Do you think another campfire will do it? Or do you think we'll have to host a Chiefs gameday?
I found another gnome in trouble.
ReplyDeleteWhile fishing a couple of days ago, I heard small voices (no, not the usual ones in my head) eminating from under the dock near the beach. In a most stealthy fashion, I crept closer in an attempt to make out the conversation. Apparently a elder gnome was relating a childhood experience to a second gnome. If I may paraphrase, it went something like this.
"When I was a rather youthful gnome I enjoyed many hours of uninterrupted play time at the home of my grandparents. During one of those wonderful days, I noticed the cellar door of my grandparent’s house had come unlatched. In spite of my grandparent endless warnings about staying away from those doors, my curiosity was killing me. What was so secretive or dangerous about these doors to carry such a dire warning? I had to know what was behind what had previously been an impenetrable barrier. As I pushed the unlatched door open, I saw the most wonderful and amazing sights. My mind struggled to absorb the delights that lie before me. There were trees, grass, butterflies, birds chirping and this beautifully bright orb overhead that cast a warmth I had never felt before. It was my best play day ever!”