Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Ransom Note & Freedom

A proposition was made and we thought we were going to have to negotiate with these terrorists:


M,

Back to business. We demand a campfire be lit at least once a month, if not more. As we watch summer slip into fall, the
temps will drop into the ideal campfire range. If these demands are not met, use your imagination from the photos to see what will happen to your precious gnome who can't control his bladder. He made a mess of our vehicle. What a disgrace to the entire gnome nation.

With deepest regards,

Z

Fortunately, before the deadline, the good guys swooped in and saved our gnome!
M,

Dude, you won't believe this. My captors took me to some location far from the resort and left me there by myself, blindfolded and bound. I don't know how they did it, or if you've ever heard of them, but the FBI rescued me! It was incredible! This team of highly trained, well equipped, and bad ass looking guys came storming into the place and rescued me. My hiatus from your backyard is over! The agents who found me must be commended. The FBI sure impressed me with their ability to rescue a mere yard gnome from the clutches of evil.

They let me try on some of their gear and take pictures with it. That vest is 250 times my body weight. Did you see me in that helmet?!?! Of course you didn't, because its too big. But trust me, I'm under there somewhere. My rescue day was the best day of my life so far. But it will pale in comparison to the day when I will be reunited with the one I love, Porkchop, uhh, I mean you and Jennifer. I still don't know when they will get around to returning me, but I'm hopeful it will be soon. They tell me I am somewhere south of where you live. You probably don't know where that is, but trust me, its nice here and it does exist.

As for the captors, I hear they are on the run and leaving the area again very soon. The FBI is everywhere and will sure to be on their tail wherever they go. They can't run forever!

The happiest gnome alive,

Mr. Gnome

The Gnome on Vacation

The Gnome's kidnappers aren't all bad. They went on vacation and rather than leave the gnome unattended, they brought him with! While away, the gnome was able to sneak away and send us this message:


Dearest Daddy M,

I snuck away from my captors ever so briefly to send you this electronic communication. My captors are not nearly as bad as they seem. They took me to a couple of pretty cool places. I was a little nervous when they first put me in their car, which I think is an SUV. I somehow managed to wet myself on the drive from Kansas City to wherever I am. I heard my captors discussing it quite enthusiastically. Even I had to admit I was a little miffed that happened. What self respecting yard gnome wets himself? Seriously!

They took me to this wonderful hunting resort called Big Cedar. There are dead things hanging from all the walls, kinda makes me nervous sometimes. But other than that, it is wonderful! They also took me to some park called Dogwood Canyon. When I first got there, I thought they were going to throw me off the edge into the abyss. Instead, they left me in their car while they went off biking. They had the gall to not even crack a window for me. Good thing it wasn't too hot that day or I might have melted a little.

Well, that's all I have time for. I think I hear them coming back...

That's all for now,

Mr. Gnome

PS: I really miss the dog. Oh, and you and J too. Please follow their instructions, I don't want to lose my beard.






Kidnapper's Update





M,

As you can see by the photographs, we are very serious about our demands. We see you have a blog referencing your dearly beloved gnome. If you recall, we requested no media or law enforcement involvement. While a blog technically is not the media, we must object to the postings. Consider this your warning. Any more publicity of this gnomenapping will result in dire consequences for the gnome. That knife you see is very sharp and the man holding it is quite strong. How do you think the deer came to be on the wall? That knife cut clean through the deer, just think what it will do to your gnome.

Eternally yours,

Z

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Baskin Robbins

As a treat, we went to a Baskin-Robbins which just opened up a location near us. Our thought was that this would be a great little treat to finish off the day. The menu describes their premium sundaes as three scoops of ice cream with yada yada. I certainly did not think that this would be a ridiculous portion.
I was wrong. So a word of caution, the Oreo and Reese's sundae's are delicious but are much larger than they appear. Consider yourself warned.


Friday, August 28, 2009

Cool Keys!!!

Spreading the word about these neat keys:




And the Basement Continues

As of two weeks ago we decided that we would host a Chiefs football party at our house in mid-September. This has lead us to decorating the basement. We finished off the basement ourselves (aside from laying carpet) and we haven't done anything since.
This deadline of having a party is really helping us finish off the space. Again, here's the long open wall space we're working with:
Our alum are the Wisconsin Badgers and per the hubby, this basement shall be considered the Wisconsin room. My wish for the room is to balance memorabilia with class. This summer we took a trip back to WI to visit family and used the opportunity to snab some photos of the iconic hangouts on campus.
Before printing out pictures and attempting to hang them on the wall, I do a dry run with the pictures in Power Point. I pull all the images into Power Point and play with the layout as well as the color. We did not have Photoshop, but Power Point is sufficient. (When you've inserted your picture, within the Picture Tools toolbar, see the Recolor options.)
Last weekend I printed off all the images at a standard size at Target. I knew that we'd be enlarging some photos into 5x7 but at $0.30 it didn't matter to me that I would be printing these photos off twice. As we waited for the photos to be developed, we picked up some frames and wall shelves. Once home, we laid out all the elements that we have to be used on the wall.
Here's a tip, the fake photo that come with the photos make a great temporary matte with the new photo. Just flip it over and use that until you get new mattes or blow up the photo. I use colored scrapbook paper behind photos to set them off. The texture that scrapbooking paper can take a simple black frame up a notch.
Tomorrow I will be searching for additional frames and then will select the pictures to blow up to 5x7. (Yeah! Another trip to Target, sigh, who doesn't love Target? Best retail store ever.) Another tip, limit the number of frame styles selected with a collage.
Be good. Do good.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Halloween Costume

I was out on the web searching for a gnome widget to add with no luck. I did however come across this crazy idea for a Halloween costume:


Seriously, check this little guy out! Okay, I may not be able to/willing to pull this off as a 20-something. But I will guarantee you that any future babies will be dressed as garden gnomes for Halloween.

Brainstorm: what about a gnome party...like a toga party, but everybody sports suspenders and pointy hats.

No, you're right. It's too much for anybody over the age of 10....